Everything is backwards-Heidi

Everything Is backwards-Heidi
"Modern civilization has no understanding of sacred matters. Everything is backwards."
--Thomas Yellowtail, CROW
Modern civilization says, don't pray in school; don't pray at work; only go to church on Sunday. If you don't believe what I believe, you'll go to hell. Deviancy is normal. Our role models cheat, drink and run around; these are the people in the news. The news sells bad news; no one wants to hear good news. Kids are killing kids. Victims have little protection. Violence is normal. Leaders cheat and lie. Everything is backwards. We need to pray for spiritual intervention. We need to have guidance from the Creator to help us rebuild our families, our communities and ourselves.
 
 I think it goes further than that. Modern Civilization doesn't believe in sacred matters. I'm not into praying. I don't think necessarily we have to pray for guidance from the creator (Whatever Creato you believe in). I do think that we need to get out heads out our asses and pay attention. Everything is backwards. Worse than that many seem okay with that. They have exuses for everything, yet nobody takes responsibility for anything. It's a blame everyone else society. Unfortunatly some groups get blamed more than others. I didn't live back in time. So I can't say it was different then. I do think society is more tolerant of most everything. It's a shame.
I am and have always been curious about religon. All religons. It always struck me as strange how asking someone about their believes most often ended in their saying I'll go to hell or some form of that response. They are so close minded. After awhile I noticed a trend. Someone can rattle off what they believe, But it is rare that a person can acutally answer questions about there faith. Most get flustered and resort to name calling and the like. As if asking questions is wrong. I think many people don't know what they believe they go to the church their family went to week after week without knowing what they believe. Is that faith? (People don't like to be asked that either).
 I wish I could recall where i read this. It may have been a buddhist book (don't hold me to that) It said that different people accept religion in different ways. Therefore there are different forms of it. What appeals to one may not appeal to others. The acutal faith was not the issue.
 I won't lie either. While I am intersted and yes fascinated by learning about religons, I don't necessarily believe in any of them. The reasons don't matter.
I don't know that our role models are cheating, drinking, runing around, or doing any of the other things any more than they ever did. The difference i think is now the media reports it because society it seems craves it. Kids killing kids. I could make that an entire enry here and maybe some day I will, for now I will say that people wonder why that happens and yet they don't hear the kids, they have kids to fit into societies ideas of normal. Children are bullied, abused, and alls orts of things. that is not an exuse to kill other kids,nothing is. But you have to treat the problem not a symptom of the problem.
Agree with me or not, everyone is entitled to their views. While I am open always to discussions I will never respond to attacks on the subject of religon, whether from others in the group or from within the berriez.
In Peace,
Heidi

Heidi's Thoughts

from feb 13- heidi
I wanted to put this here.
 
 Shamanic Astrology  -   Feb 13, Monday. Moon is moving into Virgo late tonight or early tomorrow morning energizing the archetypal realm of Spider Woman -  weaver of this web of life. Spider is the master weaver of the web drawing to her web all she needs to fulfill her divine purpose. Spider knows each individual thread of the web is crucial to the entire web and to a balanced _expression of the Whole creation and she attends to each one reweaving where necessary and even creating whole new webs when the old ones no longer serve or are beyond repair.
 
 
 I'm not a spider person. I try not to kill them but like them I do not. Yet this speaks to me. It is a personal thing for the most part. What is it about the animals we don't like, how does that relate to our totem animals? Is it our shadow animal or something like that? I will have to research that if nobody knows the answer. I am amazed by spider webs. They are so intricate. I seem to know a bit about spiders, don't even ask how, I don't know. To think that some spin new webs every day, how amazing is that. How amazing how they catch there prey and wrap it and keep it alive until they are ready to eat. I wonder how old spiders are? Are they from back in the dinosaur ages? And the silk spiders use. What strong material. Stronger than anything humans can make. What amazing gross creatures spiders are.

 I faintly recall this game scene of the original playstation where in this one room there was a giant spider, I was so discusted by it.

 I hate the idea that there are old webs out there when old webs are beyond repair. Is anything ever totally beyond repair? If so how does one decide what is beyond repair?
 
 'Each individual thread of the web is crucial.' I wish all the individual threads realized that.  

 The biggest  clearest thought I have after reading that and rambling for a bit, is this and I don't think it means anything at all to anyone but me and that is okay.  What Berriez will be left? What Berriez if any are beyond repair? And if each thread of the web is crucial how does the web function if a few individual threads are lost?  Questions to ponder further for me.

 Just my brief collection of rambling thoughts.
 
 
 InPeace,
 Heidi

Heidi's First post

I'm Heidi.  I have been told about the existence of this blog by Sierra, as well as a few others in the system.
 Some of you from the journalwriting group may recognize my name. Hi to those of you.   Hi to those I don't know as well. 
I hope everyone reading this finds themselves well.
I'm 23 currently. Some parts of the year I am 24.  Strange I realize. I have always been those ages.  
I am one of the early souls in the system. Not the first. Don't mistake my words. I have been around for a long time however.
I had a quite different job/role/function back then. I watched what happened.  For a long time I thought I was an angel, sent to watch these children go through things.    I don't recall actually learning that was not the case at some specific moment. I think it was more of a gradual realization.  
 I don't carry feelings.  I couldn't have been a witness, if I had feelings about it.   If anyone was able to hear me speak aloud, I am told I speak in a monotone.  
I know a lot about the system, about what went on.  
Some therapists and 'experts'  say I am what is called  a memory trace. I am on the fence about that, because there are souls in the system I have no clue what they have gone through. I think there are more than one memory trace type souls here.  I have only part of the memories dealing with specific person(s)
 I have been away inside for some unknown to me length of time, dealing with 2 teen bullies in the system.   Bullies are never easy to deal with, and rationalize with.  I have made progress.
 I hope to be out here a bit more in the times coming.  I would like to read the past entries here.
 For now I close and post. Not being out for awhile, leaves one tiring quickly out here.
 In Peace,
 Heidi