I'm Heidi. I have been told about the existence of this blog by Sierra, as well as a few others in the system.
Some of you from the journalwriting group may recognize my name. Hi to those of you. Hi to those I don't know as well.
I hope everyone reading this finds themselves well.
I'm 23 currently. Some parts of the year I am 24. Strange I realize. I have always been those ages.
I am one of the early souls in the system. Not the first. Don't mistake my words. I have been around for a long time however.
I had a quite different job/role/function back then. I watched what happened. For a long time I thought I was an angel, sent to watch these children go through things. I don't recall actually learning that was not the case at some specific moment. I think it was more of a gradual realization.
I don't carry feelings. I couldn't have been a witness, if I had feelings about it. If anyone was able to hear me speak aloud, I am told I speak in a monotone.
I know a lot about the system, about what went on.
Some therapists and 'experts' say I am what is called a memory trace. I am on the fence about that, because there are souls in the system I have no clue what they have gone through. I think there are more than one memory trace type souls here. I have only part of the memories dealing with specific person(s)
I have been away inside for some unknown to me length of time, dealing with 2 teen bullies in the system. Bullies are never easy to deal with, and rationalize with. I have made progress.
I hope to be out here a bit more in the times coming. I would like to read the past entries here.
For now I close and post. Not being out for awhile, leaves one tiring quickly out here.
In Peace,
Heidi
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