Pain and secrets fall out of me
Pain and secrets my heart can no longer bare
plopping on the floor at first, then running in a steady stream,
a river of secrets and pain.
The river of my life.
At last I am free.

Other side of the bridge

A slice of my life- about panic

A slice of my life

As my heart quickens and tightens in my chest
my breath is sucked from the depth of my being.
I do my best to fight this unwelcomed beast to no avail.
Suddenly my vision blackens at the edges,
I look down a tunnel now.
Desparate to get away, I fight harder.
Kicking, pleading for this monster to leave me.
Am I dreaming? Is this real?
The world has gone fuzzy, dreamy in quality.
Desparate to keep control I try to see through the dream,
to find the end of the tunnel.
All to no avail.
The worst is yet to come I know in the depth of my being.
It's happening. Quickly I grab onto the nearest heavy object,
Desparate to not float away my knuckles are white.
I'm floating away, Leaving the body behind, my grasp was not enough.
I am beyond terrified now....
A million things going through my head.....
where will I land, will I crash, will I find the body,
will anyone notice i left, will i die?
Suddenly without warning I am snapped into the body,
I open my eyes to find an ice pack on my arm
N-- calling my name, saying 'it's okay, your safe now.
i'll hold on so you don't float away'
Tears spring to my eyes as I realize it is ending for now.
Grateful as I am for my 'anchor'
Already I am wondering when it will happen next,
all the while keeping where I go when I fly away, a secret.


~Kathryn

written 1/07

All Alone

all alone do you hear me?

All alone do you see me?

All alone in silence I suffer

destined for pain, for torture

for emptiness.

Outside looking in.

Seeing but not participating in a world that entrances and terrifies me.

So I sit on the sidelines waiting for someone to sit beside me
and stay awhile.